Fantasy Upgrade

Today started like any normal day, except there was a strange ray of light in my bedroom…SUN!!! And since i hadn’t experienced any of that lately, I instinctively reached for my phone, and called my sweet friend to inquire as to the whereabouts of her evil step-mom,so that I could sneak myself into their pool. God was on my side; the witch had flown broom-class to Lagos that same morning. Halleluyerr!!!

A quick shower and 30mins later, I’m in the pool…feeling fabulous….soaking up the wonderful ambience that only a home-owned pool could provide.Listening to good music has proven to provide me immense inspiration,so I selected a nice playlist from my lappy,and allowed my mind wander far away from this dusty town,and into the glossy world of my fantasies;where I’m a billionaire heiress,also married to a Mafia boss in southern California, using pina-coladas to swallow panadol.
My friend,Kay,a 22 yr old undergrad student was busy performing domestic duties, and so I was left alone with all the privileges I could imagine as she told me “Feel at home,dear”.
Feel at Home?Lol.This babe had no idea…
I sat in one of em poolside recliner things,and sipped coconut juice from the coconut itself, with a bowl of exotic fruit.(Reality being Coke and groundnut, but hey, a girl is alllowed to dream).
I had taken my laptop and gone online to see what was poppin in the civilized world when,BAM!!! I saw it…
The article said it belonged to a Nigerian Family, who had decided to erect this tasteful work of art in their hometown and so on,but…There it was…
My fantasies were instantly upgraded.
Even now as I write this, I still no know wetin to talk but CLEARLY,this is the kind of pool that when you go in with natural hair, you come out on the other side with waist-length, braz/peruv/Indian hair!!!
No disrespect intended, but my current location immediately felt like I had been swimming in the village stream.
As I dey now,I am currently pre-occupied with the task of belonging to that family.
I have it all figured out:
·        Google the owner.
·        Find son (brother, cousin, gardener, gateman or wharreva)
·        Crash diet
           Practice new walk and talk….and its done.
Laugh all you want but I say it, I believe it, I receive it, I claim it…He’s/It’s mine!!!!!



13 Responses to “Fantasy Upgrade”

  1. LMAO Onome this is simply amazing, funny, epic, true and down to earth… Dream Big baby, dream big (Y). -Pelumi

  2. Day dreaming, very allowed! Lol. Sweet write up, also made me to start fantasizing abt d caribbean islands. Lolz

  3. Its so nice seeing you do this.more grease to your elbows.

  4. Onome u no go fit kill me with laugh. U get luck say madam broom class nor come meet u for her pool, u for confess. The groundnut nd coke part was too gbaski. I don laugh tire for here. Abeg happy daydreaming jor, its allowed. U r doin a wonderful job of putting smiles on our faces. I luv u pieces. Ride on sisterKube

  5. Onomski babes! You never fail to crack me up all d time. Keep going luv. I'm so proud babes. Jiromu

  6. Lol,no harm in dreaming dear,that's the only way we knw wen our dreams come thru.

  7. The way you write! Kai!! So looking forward to this all the time. I claim it, i obtain it, it's mine!!!! You know the lyrics. Love ya boo!

  8. Classic!! U got me at the billionaire heiress wife of a mafia lord swallowing panadol wit pina colada, buhahahahahahahaaaaa. Well done Ono!More ink to ur pen, abi na fingers to ur laptuk?!

  9. Thank you all so very much…xxx

  10. U join my faith with your's Pam just dnt 4get to let us know when it comes tru, so we can behold that pool with our naked eyes, based on say we know you. I would rather fly down to wherever it is, swim as many times as possible, gather the braz/peruv/Indian hairs than Buy them. I don't know you to be a greedy person.thanks.

  11. I join my faith with yours o…..

  12. Zainab Kelani Says:

    Ha ha aha aha…..@swallow Panadol with piña colada….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: